Okay…so it’s setting in now that Logan has Downs Syndrome. The thoughts go through my mind…some I share and some I think would be better not mentioning that the thought had crossed my mind. I started looking at different “Typical families” with the dynamic that I thought would be ours- One sister and two brothers. Jada, of course doing her hair and trying on about two thousand dresses a day. Some she doesn’t even change, she just layers them on top of each other until she realizes that she is too hot and comes to the conclusion that it wasn’t maybe the best idea. And the two boys, Asher and Logan, wrestling on the carpet, throwing a football and competeing for the girls. I realized that it would be different. Some moments I’m excited about the Challenge God has placed before me, and then other times…I think that I don’t know if it’s something I can handle. One of my thoughts I had said was that I don’t want to change a 40 year old’s diapers. I Don’t want to have a kid the rest of my life…what is Jody and I going to do when everyone is having a blast with the “empty nest syndrome” and we are still going strong with taking care of him. Now yes, that may not be the best thoughts, the best attitude to have…I am fully aware of that. But unfortuntly…That’s what I thought, I can’t help it…these are the things that come to mind every now and then. And then I thought…why am I thinking so far into the future…are we granted tomorrow? Logan is a baby right now, he is our baby and when he’s forty years old and we are having a laugh together…he is still my Logan. He won’t be a forty year old man that I have to take care of cause I have to, but it will be about me wanting to.
So many times we start running, we think that it’s the only way to get to the next thing, the next thought. And I realized that I was tripping over my own feet. If I put myself ahead of time, I’ll miss the laughs and good times along the way. I’ll miss opportunities to tell my story because I’m too busy thinking about the next thing. When Lazarus, Jesus’ best friend, was pronounced dead and Mary and Martha came running to Jesus to tell him that He must come to raise him from the dead. Jesus took His time getting there. He took four days to get to Lazarus and along the way He healed and touched people. If He would have run to the aid of Lazarus, He would have missed the opportunities for a miracle. To encourage you to just walk, not run through your life. Enjoy the moments that you have with each other, embrace the mistakes, and know that God knows the Future you have and He will prepare you for those days ahead…but to not let today pass you by because you have your mind on tomorrow. Hang up your running shoes and enjoy the Life that is before you.